I write in order to ask for prayer. I apologize that I haven't been posting new items very often, but I struggle with not wanting to always post bad news. I write in attempts to share my burden with you who have been such good friends and prayer warriors for me.
First, it turns out that Obamacare is not the break we were hoping for. It states that it does away with lifetime maximums on health care starting January 2011, so we thought perfect, that's when we can start trying again anyway this will do away with the $15k maximum we had for treatment....WRONG, it doesn't work that way as fertility treatment is considered special care and is in a different category.
Second, we thought the home buyers program was 15 years then we can sell our condo for full value..... well, due to some very fine print and vague paperwork we found that although David signed up for this change ( the original was 50 years) we may now need a lawyer to straighten it out since our future intent was to buy a house after 15 years which is a little over a year away....time flies doesn't it?
Third, I am going through the year post cancer treatment process and I am still having health issues like high blood pressure , tiredness and weight gain. They recently put me on Vitamin D which has helped but not a lot. I am extremely thankful though that by January after my body scan I hope to get the chance to say that I am cancer FREE :)......
Fourth and most on my mind..... we go back to the fertility clinic December 2nd to start the process of trying for a child again and to be brutally honest this process has not gotten any easier and the pain any less as time passes, the yearn grows stronger. I am going to be 35 next month and I feel like I have let God, my husband, my family and the world down that it's been 9 YEARS on this quest, where I struggle with feeling like I am not a good wife or woman and my faith just not strong enough. Yes, I know there's always adoption and I promise that's our next step...but God has closed this door please help support us in this journey. Anyway, since we'll have to pay mostly out of pocket since we exhausted the $15K max we pray God provides the funding we had hoped to get through selling our house and/or refinancing so we need that to get resolved and most selfishly I need to lose weight to do IVF, as they won't go through with the procedure unless you have a certain BMI and as of today that means this crazy weight I gained after my cancer treatment needs to come off...and well, the scale has been helping me... as of this morning I need to lose 15 pounds by the time we do IVF..... I humbling and selfishly ask for your prayers and support during this time..as I battle wanting to be depressed about the whole situation.
Thanks for listening. I am so blessed by you.
~Wendy
Thank you for all the emails, you keep my in check and remind me that my eyes are to be fixed upon HIM and everything else will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteHi Wendy,
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. Man, when it rains, it pours. Things look bleak, but "what is impossible for man is possible with God" Luke 18:27.
My prayers are with you, especially for a strengthing of your faith during this time of trial. Yes, sometimes you go "kinda numb" with all the pain in your life (I know, my Mom was in ICU a couple of weeks ago at the same time my Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer). But God.....He is still with us, even when we don't really know where to begin or even what to pray for. We just want the turmoil to stop, and for things to work out how we think they should. Oh, if it were so simple.
There is a book by nutritionist and dietician David Meinz, "Survival of the Fittest." It gives real tips for weight loss that you can live by (for ex., try to eat only 50 grams of fat a day! You'll be surprised how even the simplest things we eat daily have high fat).
I admire you for sharing. My first instinct is to tell no one when things start going haywire, but that is not always the best. Their is strength in the prayer of the righteous (and the more prayers, the better).
'Drinna